||[Dec. 8th, 2006|12:19 pm]
I watched "Sybil" last night, and I knew if I did I would have a dream that taught me something about if I am or am not a multiple. I watch movies like these to have my mind answer questions it is not answering consciously to me. I also do the artwork, but, I have not allowed myself to do art lately. I feel repelled by the idea. When this happens, I know my unconscious is trying to tell my conscious mind something it does not want to know. I then do this, the movie thing , guessing at what the thing may be. and, it proved fruitful last night.
In the movie "Sybil", the girl has a cat's head and body chasing her. It was assoicated with the abusive mother. I had a dream last night about a rabbit and my dad. In the dream I was trying to protect a rabbit from my dad, who wanted to get rid of it and hurt it and maybe even kill it! I was in my parents' house and also in an apartment on S.Clinton Ave. I used to live in with my last exhusband. In the dream, my parents lived downstairs, and I lived upstairs. Mom was downstairs and dad was not home. She told me to hurry and hide the rabbit before dad came home! I went upstairs, and was trying to do this, but as I did, I heard his car pull in the driveway and panicked! In dreams, you know how you try to go fast put everything goes in slow motion the harder you try to go faster? It was like that here! frustrating! i was trying to catch the bunny out of her cage, and she was a brown rabbit, and she did not want to be caught. As I focused on her, dad snuke up behind me having come into the back doorway, and grabbed my legs and pulled them. I was onthe floor near the cage, and he was dragging me away from it violently! I was terrified and looked up at him..... his eyes and face were full of rage and anger and hate and violence! He was ranting and raving about the rabbit and how I was not allowed to have one and how he was going to get rid of it and how I couldn't stop him! I grabbed the cage and was screaming "no!" to him at the top of my lungs hoping mom would hear and come up and rescue me and the rabbit! I grabbed the rabbit and put her in my shirt and got free from his grip and ran to the door and out. I realized I did not have a key and the door locked behind me. It was night time and winter. I did not have a coat or shoes on my feet, and I didn't know what I was going to do or wear I was going to go! I was panicking in the dream and scared my rabbit would be taken and killed! Rabbits don't talk. They are mute. Just like my art me!
This dream was a terrifying night mare to me. It sounds silly, but it was terrifying!